Schedule a consult

Conquer Your Fear of Self-Advocacy with Jamie Lee, Ep #375

Conquer your fear of self-advocacy with Jamie Lee

What is the mindset shift that needs to happen for you to embrace self-advocacy? Why is it important to nail down the value you’re providing and the future value of your contributions? How do you help them see your vision for future success? These are just a few of the questions Jamie Lee conquers in this episode of Negotiations Ninja. Jamie Lee is an executive coach for women who hate office politics but want to get promoted—and get better pay—without throwing anyone under the bus.

Outline of This Episode

  • [1:46] Learn more about Jamie Lee
  • [2:35] The concept of self-advocacy
  • [4:12] How to shift your mindset
  • [7:43] It’s not about proving yourself
  • [9:56] How to articulate your future value
  • [13:51] Building internal relationships
  • [18:20] Protect yourself by saying “no”
  • [22:23] Choose your battles wisely
  • [23:05] Other factors at play in decision-making

The concept of self-advocacy

We have been socialized to think that it’s about putting up a fight and that self-advocacy is confrontational. It feels like you have to go against gender socialization to advocate for yourself. But Jamie believes that self-advocacy is an act of service.

Most of the women Jamie works with have the desire to serve people and help businesses do better. When you advocate for yourself in a way that’s aligned with what the business wants to do, it’s an act of service because you’ve shown them the potential for a greater value-add.

How to shift your mindset

What will you contribute as a leader when you’re promoted? You’ll add value that will help the company and inspire others to take action.

Jamie has a lot of clients in male-dominated industries who want to make a greater impact. They have ideas to drive cutting-edge technologies to serve the mission of the company or improve the stock price that they need to articulate to the people who care.

It’s about ceding the vision and sharing what you will accomplish and how it will benefit stakeholders, shareholders, and clients.

Humans love to focus on the past. That’s why people say, “I did XYZ and therefore deserve more in the future…” The reality is that the price of a product or service is never about the features.

The value of your contributions is a small slice of the bigger pie that makes up the pie that is the value you offer. The value includes what you did in the past, but the bulk is the future value.

It’s not about proving yourself

Many people think that if they prove themselves in a role, they’ll be rewarded for the work they’ve done. Then they’ll “get” what they think they should have been offered when given the initial role.

If you are completely unproven and people don’t know the quality of your work, it makes sense to prove that you can do the job. But Jamie believes that the idea of needing to prove oneself is poisonous.

It speaks to the student mindset. We have to prove ourselves by meeting certain educational standards (i.e. getting an “A”). But that only works when there’s a syllabus and structured program where you have to check the boxes.

But you have to be more creative in your career. It’s less about proving yourself and more about articulating the value of what you can do. The people who get promoted and paid better aren’t always the best performers or hardest workers. The people that can articulate the future value they offer—and how it benefits everyone—are the ones who get promoted.

So let’s get down to it: How do you articulate your future value? You better listen to the whole episode to find out!

Resources & People Mentioned

Connect with Jamie Lee

Connect With Mark

Subscribe to Negotiations Ninja