Paul Nadeau is a former hostage negotiator, international peacekeeper, and interrogator. During this time, he learned a lot about how the human mind works. He’s taken his decades of experience and applied it to a negotiation framework that every negotiator can learn to implement in their work and lives.
Outline of This Episode
- [1:56] Learn more about J. Paul Nadeau
- [3:19] Why won’t people just ask?
- [6:32] Dissecting the inner conflict that exists
- [10:05] The PIER negotiation process
- [13:56] We don’t sell to people, we sell for people
- [27:32] Negotiations are about connections
The PIER negotiation process
What is Paul’s PIER negotiation process?
- P = Preparation and planning: Planning is mental preparation and discovery. Where are you going to meet? Under what circumstances will you meet? Will you have a second negotiator? If you truly believe you can offer something of value, you proceed.
- I = Intent: Your intent must be focused on your client (not yourself). It’s about opening the channels of communication and asking exploratory questions.
- E = Engage: You must engage them from your first impression. You keep them engaged by asking engaging questions.
- R = Relationship: Once you’ve successfully baked your PIE, the goal is to build a relationship.
If, at any point during the dating process, something goes wrong, you can amicably leave the process. And the more you know about who you’re negotiating with, the better you can serve them.
Preparation is key to success
You know you’re going to be meeting with someone. You know the topic you’ll be talking about. Hostage negotiators don’t have that luxury. They have to prepare for the unexpected. They do that by running through mock scenarios that they’d practice monthly. If you have a large negotiation in 3-4 days, you need to run through it. Ask someone to roleplay with you. Answer as thoroughly as you can. Most people don’t do this.
Negotiating is like dating
Negotiating and selling is like dating. When you start dating someone, you want to see if you have a connection. It’s an exploratory process. It’s the same in a negotiation. You want to ask questions to see if they can work together.
If you ask someone out on a date, your intent has to be focused on that person. You want to make it about them. You want to learn about them. Why? To build trust and likability and determine whether or not you’ll ask for date number two.
If you talk about yourself like you’re the best thing that’s come along, you’ll never get a second date. Your date might just leave. So would a company. Provide people with something they truly want that fits the needs they have.
People want to be seen, understood and appreciated. It’s the same in business. They’ll come back to someone who listens to them and knows their pain points.
We don’t sell to people; we sell for people
The goal isn’t to sell someone something they don’t want. You wouldn’t want a family member to work with someone who sells just for a commission. You’d want to send them to someone who cares about their outcome. They seek to understand what someone is looking to do with their product. You want to be that person.
Paul emphasizes that negotiations are not hard. They’re about connecting with another human being. It’s when two or more people get together to reach an agreement. You’re negotiating every day of your life. Don’t make it complicated. Seek to listen and understand the other person and focus your intent on them; it will open doors and build relationships.
Resources & People Mentioned
Connect with J. Paul Nadeau
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