The Psychology of Confidence

Many people are afraid of negotiating because they have this perception that they don’t have the ability required to negotiate. They believe negotiation is a skillset people are simply born with. However, the reality is that negotiation is a skill you can learn and develop as a framework and a lifestyle.

Mark Davis, a confidence psychology negotiation coach, explains that one of the biggest obstacles we need to overcome when facing the task of negotiating is our lack of confidence. In many cases, our confidence is so fragile because we believe one bad result or one false move will cause everything to break. Ultimately, for many entrepreneurs and business owners, this lack of ability comes down to the perception that the other person in the room is better than they are.  

For example, when they walk into a negotiation scenario, they believe every person knows more stuff than they do. With this mindset, right from the get-go, they’re walking into a situation with an immediate disadvantage.

It is crucial to recognize that our mindset changes as a result of the behaviour that we instill into ourselves. Therefore, we have to be intentional in the activities we engage in. Each action we make should be rooted in purpose and growth. 

Obviously, we can’t download confidence overnight. There has to be a driving force that will motivate us to improve. We have to consciously and actively seek discomfort if we want to change our mindset. If we want to become that ultimate entrepreneur or that ultimate salesperson, we need to shed ourselves of all the excuses we have become so accustomed to.

Our brains are naturally wired to protect us – because of this, confidence is a decision. When tackling the process of negotiation, we have to actively face the obstacles hindering our confidence and lay the foundation for a healthy mindset. Remember, just because someone has been doing something longer than you doesn’t mean they’re better than you.

Our desire to be more confident and the process of leaning into that discomfort completely goes against our brain’s natural programming. This means it’s going to take time; it’s going to take practice. Most importantly, it’s going to take a lot of effort.

It is crucial that we give our all, no matter what challenging negotiation we come across. Moving forward, it is crucial to understand that it’s not going to be easy, but it’s going to be worth it. Trust your skills and that you deserve to be at the table, whatever that table is.

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