Your Talent Counts for Nothing
I was telling someone the other day how much I love what I do. Ultimately you can boil down what I do to one simple thing: Talking to people. I love it. Then that person said to me, "Obviously you're going to say you love it, you're good at it and it's a talent of yours." I had to admit that they were right. It does come fairly naturally to me.... Read more
The Development of Patience
Jack Cambria is the embodiment patience and understanding. In a conversation I had with Jack (episode 50 of the Negotiations Ninja podcast), he said: "We have to have staying power and develop a rapport. And if we can develop that, it will lead to trust, in time. And there is a process. And that process is allowing people the time to work through their emotions and that takes time."Jack's background as... Read more
Breakdowns are Potential Breakthroughs
"Don't take temporary set backs so seriously. Things are not over when we think they're over. I used to believe that when you have a breakdown in a negotiation, then that's it. What I learned after a while is that things are never over. It's over if the parties involved both drop dead, then MAYBE, it's over. Breakdowns are potential breakthroughs. Every exit is an entrance some place else." -... Read more
Perception Is Reality
One of my negotiation idols is Herb Cohen. In a conversation I had with Herb (episode 33 of the Negotiations Ninja podcast), the biggest golden nugget for me was the re-affirmation that perception is everything in negotiation. He said: "Perception is reality. Power is based upon perception. If you think you got it, but don't have it, you got it. If you think you don't got it, but have it, you don't... Read more
Dealing With Aggressive Negotiators
The longer you work in a high volume negotiation role the more you get to see in terms of styles or roles within the spectrum of negotiation ability and skill sets. There are many negotiators out there who truly look for win-win scenarios and are actively engaging to ensure that they come to a deal that makes sense for both parties. And there are others who want to take everything... Read more
Applying Process to Negotiation
I'm definitely going to lose some readers over this one. But screw it, here we go. I've had very robust "discussions" with many business professionals, former colleagues, and "expert" consultants about this topic. But the short answer is, "Yes" - I believe you can apply process to negotiation. Alright, now that we've gotten rid of the people who think in absolutes, let's begin our discussion. The truth is that you've... Read more
Framing In Negotiations
"How you say something is more important than what you say." Ever heard that before? Think it's true? Well, it turns out that it actually is true. Once you learn about framing, it will change the way you look at how things are said, and hopefully the way you say things to have people buy into your deals more often. Think of it exactly as it sounds. You perceive the... Read more
Style Versus Substance
Last week I delivered a presentation to a group of very successful business owners and tried to impart on them some negotiation skills that they could use in their businesses. Whenever I deliver presentations to business owners, most owners intuitively 'get it'. That's because many of them have hustled to get to the spot where they are. Unfortunately, what sometimes ends up happening is that someone in a group says... Read more
The Dark-Side of Negotiation
There are those that would use the negotiation for nefarious means. One such person was so bold to even contact me directly the other day and said thank you for giving them the tools they need to "trick" more people into doing what they want. Unfortunately, people like this exist. I know, I used to be one. Some industries and corporate cultures breed this type of behavior and even encourage... Read more
Concession Planning In Negotiation
"Why in the world would you plan what you will give away before you go into a negotiation? Surely you shouldn't be planning to give away anything or very little. I mean this just seems silly." This was the feedback I got from one student a few months ago. And before you either agree with the person or cast off the statement as trolling, let's give him the respect he... Read more