Framing In Negotiations
"How you say something is more important than what you say." Ever heard that before? Think it's true? Well, it turns out that it actually is true. Once you learn about framing, it will change the way you look at how things are said, and hopefully the way you say things to have people buy into your deals more often. Think of it exactly as it sounds. You perceive the... Read more
What I Learned From An FBI Hostage Negotiator
The man, the myth, the legend, Chris Voss was on the Negotiations Ninja Podcast recently. Yes, the same Chris Voss that was once the lead international hostage negotiator for the FBI and the author of the amazing book, Never Split the Difference. There's probably no one else you'd rather have negotiating to get you out of hostage situation than Chis Voss (except maybe Herb Cohen). I'm a Chris Voss... Read more
When a Team Member Goes Rogue
When someone on your negotiation team goes rogue in a negotiation and says or does things that they're not meant to, it makes many experienced negotiators lose their minds! The immediate thought that enters the heads of the other members of the team is usually, "WTF is he doing!?!", "He's blowing it!", "Did he actually say that!?!". Many of us have been in situations where someone (usually the technical... Read more
Time Pressure In Negotiations
Time is money. What does that even mean!?! Well in negotiation, it can be take a few different ways. The most common way that time is used in negotiation is to extract large amounts of concessions out of the other party. REQUEST: Please don't use this tool I am about to teach you, unethically. Just because I'm teaching it to you, doesn't mean you should impose this tool on all... Read more
Style Versus Substance
Last week I delivered a presentation to a group of very successful business owners and tried to impart on them some negotiation skills that they could use in their businesses. Whenever I deliver presentations to business owners, most owners intuitively 'get it'. That's because many of them have hustled to get to the spot where they are. Unfortunately, what sometimes ends up happening is that someone in a group says... Read more
Getting Comfortable With Rejection
Let's not sugar coat it. Rejection sucks! No one likes going into a negotiation and getting shut down. We're all afraid of getting rejected, laughed at, or asked to leave. We're more afraid of what might happen than what's likely to happen. There's a great quote that's been attributed to Mark Twain where he says: I AM AN OLD MAN AND HAVE KNOWN A GREAT MANY TROUBLES, MOST OF WHICH... Read more
Draw The Other Party In With Emotion
There are a lot of negotiation experts that will tell you to separate emotion from the negotiation you go into. Ever tried to do that in something that you’re really emotionally invested in? Yeah, and how did that go? If you’re like most people, it probably didn’t go very well. That’s because that advice is BS to begin with. Negotiation is intimate an emotional. You cannot separate emotion from negotiations.... Read more
The Dark-Side of Negotiation
There are those that would use the negotiation for nefarious means. One such person was so bold to even contact me directly the other day and said thank you for giving them the tools they need to "trick" more people into doing what they want. Unfortunately, people like this exist. I know, I used to be one. Some industries and corporate cultures breed this type of behavior and even encourage... Read more
Change Is Constant
Change is a constant in our lives, isn't it? Just when you think you've got hold of something, it surprises you and changes. Running a business is like that every single day. And occasionally some structural changes are required to account for the change. The great thing about change though is that it keeps things fresh. And keeping things fresh is key to succeeding as a start-up. My business is... Read more
Mistakes Have Been Made
Mistakes have been made. I've screwed up many times. I will continue to screw up. But as with everything, when we screw up we also learn our biggest lessons. Negotiation is no different. It's tough to know what you should have done differently unless you make a mistake. I've had some major bombs in negotiations, but there are a few that stick out as truly memorable. This post is about... Read more