Breakdowns are Potential Breakthroughs
"Don't take temporary set backs so seriously. Things are not over when we think they're over. I used to believe that when you have a breakdown in a negotiation, then that's it. What I learned after a while is that things are never over. It's over if the parties involved both drop dead, then MAYBE, it's over. Breakdowns are potential breakthroughs. Every exit is an entrance some place else." -... Read more
Perception Is Reality
One of my negotiation idols is Herb Cohen. In a conversation I had with Herb (episode 33 of the Negotiations Ninja podcast), the biggest golden nugget for me was the re-affirmation that perception is everything in negotiation. He said: "Perception is reality. Power is based upon perception. If you think you got it, but don't have it, you got it. If you think you don't got it, but have it, you don't... Read more
Don’t Shirk the Fundamentals
There is one thing that all experts (in every single interview I've done) preach repetitively and without loss of enthusiasm. And that one thing is to FOCUS ON THE FUNDAMENTALS. They consistently preach two things as the fundamental building blocks to success in negotiations: 1. Ask good questions 2. Actively listen Strangely, many of us cast off this advice as too basic. My belief is that they could have said anything else as fundamentals, and... Read more
Your Words Have Power
"Sticks and stones can break your bones but words can never harm you." What a load of B.S. I caught myself telling my children this the other day and immediately regretted it. Because it's completely untrue. Words have the power to build and the power to destroy. They also have the power to change how someone thinks of you and how you think of yourself. Ancient wisdom has understood this for... Read more
The Insanity of ‘Good Enough’
"Negotiations Ninja exists to develop and deliver the most engaging negotiation training and content in the world. If I didn't believe that this business could develop and deliver the most engaging negotiation training in the world, I wouldn't be doing it." People get uncomfortable when they hear me say this. Then I say, "This is not a goal statement and please don't mistake this for arrogance. This is a... Read more
Can You Repair a Damaged Relationship?
I was going to do a post on how to repair a damaged relationship, but then I got to thinking, "To say that would be to presuppose that a damaged relationship can be repaired." And can a damaged relationship actually be repaired? I suppose we need to make a distinction between personal and business relationships before we get into this, so let's start off by saying that we're only talking... Read more
Dealing With Aggressive Negotiators
The longer you work in a high volume negotiation role the more you get to see in terms of styles or roles within the spectrum of negotiation ability and skill sets. There are many negotiators out there who truly look for win-win scenarios and are actively engaging to ensure that they come to a deal that makes sense for both parties. And there are others who want to take everything... Read more
What Makes Them Tick?
When I was a kid, I would try to take my toys apart to see how they worked. I was impatient as a child (and in many ways, I still am). That impatience got the best of me many times and I recall a time once where I got so frustrated with not being able to take a toy (a toy robot my parents had saved to buy for me)... Read more
Applying Process to Negotiation
I'm definitely going to lose some readers over this one. But screw it, here we go. I've had very robust "discussions" with many business professionals, former colleagues, and "expert" consultants about this topic. But the short answer is, "Yes" - I believe you can apply process to negotiation. Alright, now that we've gotten rid of the people who think in absolutes, let's begin our discussion. The truth is that you've... Read more
They Hate It When I Say This
"You've wasted your money if you think I'm here to give you the negotiation silver bullet." "I have no 'easy tricks' you can start doing to see your results 10X." "If you thought that you were going to be able to come to a seminar and somehow absorb the knowledge without a significant amount of practice and effort, then I have bad news for you,....this isn't that kind of training."... Read more